The Three Amigos – left hemisphere, right hemisphere, senses – give us our sense of “reality”.

Your brain’s cortex is divided into two hemispheres – right and left. According to Orrin Devinsky, MD, professor of Neurology, Psychiatry and Neurosurgery and Director of the NYU Epilepsy Center at NYU Langone Medical Center, the right hemisphere of the brain dominates self recognition, emotional familiarity and ego boundaries. The job of the left hemisphere is to make sense out of sensual input and information from the right hemisphere – it is the story teller.

There is a complicated interaction between right hemisphere, left hemisphere, your senses, and the animal brain within you. Theories abound as to just how that interaction occurs. Recently, Dr. Devinsky conducted a review of many studies of hemispheric interaction in an attempt to better understand this interaction – focusing on right hemisphere lesions and left hemisphere delusions.

“…delusions result from the loss of these [right hemisphere] functions as well as the over activation of the left hemisphere and its language structures, that ‘create a story’, a story which cannot be edited and modified to account for reality. Delusions result from right hemisphere lesions, but it is the left hemisphere that is deluded.” Lesions in the right hemisphere can cause delusions as the left hemisphere goes to work making sense of distorted identity and emotional information it gets from the injured right hemisphere.

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Rigidity of thought – “I’m right!” thinking – tends to embitter one’s life and sour relationships.

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “OK,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

Did you notice how both of the Senator’s iterations meant the same thing? How many times have you confused yourself with negative affirmations? For example, how many times have you told yourself that you could not do something. Most of the time, such self-defeating affirmations are absolutely false. You aren’t telling yourself the truth.

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Although I sprayed them every year they’d just come back stronger. They had become resilient.

There is a spot in our backyard garden where the same weeds pop up every spring – and which I spray each spring. Over time, the spray seems to be lessening its effect on them and now, the weeds simply cannot be killed using those sprays I’ve used before – they have survived and learned to be resilient.

For years I’ve believed that victimhood is the key to therapeutic inaction and failure. Clients who believe they are the victim of abuse feel powerless and helpless against the intense feelings that boil within them. “I can’t help it – I was beaten as a child. It’s DADDY’S fault I’m fat!”

What if you were to look at yourself instead as a survivor imbued with a strength called resilience? Rather than feeling helpless and hopeless, might you feel more empowered? And what if you were to learn that by putting your strength to work for you, you might actually make your life work better? What if you considered resilience an evolutionary gift rather than a problem needing correction?

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We are all extraordinary, all strange — freaks, every last one of us.

“We should keep in mind the world is messy, and we’re all different to varying degrees. Nature always takes the exception to the rule, undermines the archetype, and reminds us that our ideas about what is natural and what we should do to correct nature’s ‘imperfections’ are as sound as a sandcastle battered by a rising tide,”  writes University of Iowa psychologist Mark Blumberg in his latest book, Freaks of Nature. “We are all extraordinary, all strange — freaks, every last one of us. Some of us just happen to be more notable, with a particularly interesting story to tell.”

“To me, the nature-nurture debate is a dead end,” said Blumberg. “Asking whether something is more nature or more nurture is like asking whether a hurricane is more wind or rain. It’s both — always both.”

In nature, biological systems operate within the context of their environment. According to evolutionary theory, systems either adapt to their environment or die off. Freaks of nature sometimes becomes the dominant species because they can adapt better than those we consider “normal” or not freaks.

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I just had to share this wonderful parable. It caught me at that “just right” time to help me appreciate it. I’ve never really looked at insults as gifts, but what would happen to me if I did? And what would happen to you if you did?

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior’s challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.

Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. “How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?”

“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it,” the master replied, “to whom does the gift belong?”

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