When I was much younger (and oh, so much more foolish… 8-), I rode a horse once or twice. I noticed that as I rode the horse, I could pull the reins one way or another, kick the horse, or pull back on the reins and the horse would respond with movement in the direction I chose – and applied the correct action – and, most importantly, if the horse agreed.
This worked quite well until about half way through the ride when the horse got wind of the barn and the oats. Then I experienced trot, gallop, and full out run – no matter what I did with the reins or spurs. So far as the horse was concerned my only purpose in life was to make sure he got exercise when he wanted it, oats to eat when he wanted it, and a safe, warm place to eat and sleep when he wanted to do that.
My brain is like that. At the base is an animal brain, called the reptilian brain – the horse. Atop it sits the limbic system – the saddle. And atop that sits the neocortex – the human rider(s) – two of them, like husband and wife, left and right hemispheres. Sometimes they agree with each other while other times they disagree – which matters not one iota to the horse as long as it gets its oats on time.
The purpose of the horse is to survive – to either feel good (pleasure) or escape pain. It bases all its thinking on evaluation of threat or benefit. It is an animal, after all.
The purpose of the riders is to direct the horse toward a goal determined by the riders. However, for almost all humans (nearly 100%) – almost all the time (nearly 100%) – THE GOAL OF THE RIDERS IS TO SATISFY THE HORSE!
Check it out for yourself – why do you do most of what you do in life? It is to either feel good (satisfied) or to escape pain (or some painful outcome). You look at your environment, your world, in terms of what may threaten you (either physically, psychologically, or “spiritually”) or what may be of benefit (to you or those you care about). That’s the HORSE’S JOB!
Basically, from that point of view, we are animals with big brains – capable of rising above the animal mentality – and choosing, instead, to use our huge mental capability – our capacity for more – to satisfy our animal natures – to survive. We are riders enslaved to the horse. And we are so used to this arrangement that we defend it and fight any other way.
Another look at proxy healing
Consider why it is we do proxy or surrogate healing. We first place a judgment upon some event or persons – judging the event or persons based on threat or benefit. Then we impose our interpretation or our judgment of their condition and our “fix” upon them.
There really is no “them” – there is only our interpretation of our own animal signals that we ascribe to “them.” We use our magnificent neocortex to imagine how we would feel in their condition and impose that image upon them. We like to call it compassion, but I wonder if it is merely our animal predictions – using our big brains to satisfy the horse again based on our interpretation of cause-effect. We want to see a victim and we want to be the hero that saves the day. I want to be Frodo – the guy who beats the odds and vanquishes the evil lords and their dark hordes.
When we “fix” through proxy, someone else’s problems, we are merely satisfying our need to fulfill our own animal needs (to be safe, secure, free from pain, and satisfied) – needs we interpret as lacking in others (externalizing in order to satisfy our own need to feel safe, secure, free from pain, and satisfied ourselves).
Proxy healing can be the purest form of compassion when applied in a non-judgmental way. It’s just that, for the most part, I am unwilling to be non-judgmental because that would mean acting in freedom from the horse – independent from my need to satisfy the animal within. I’d have to be completely willing to forgo my own survival – willing to risk death – for anyone else, rather than just someone I judge worthy of my sacrifice – as that kind of judgment would tend to perpetuate the horse enslavement in myself and others.
I’m not sure I can even conceive of what it is like to no longer serve the horse. I don’t know if I have ever been there – I’m so used to being in its service. Therefore, at this point in my life, I accept that I am in the service of the horse – a condition borne of the evidence before me.
By my acceptance of this condition, I also accept that my interpretations of my experiences of life are askew – favoring the horse rather than objective reality. I accept that I may not recognize “enlightenment” or “freedom” if or when it may occur because of my dogged attention to the horse. And, let me be clear about this – I am not seeking enlightenment or freedom! Because I don’t even know what they are, I can’t seek them. If I choose to seek, I can only seek using my current criteria – which is based on serving the horse. Do you get my drift?
It seems to me that the only way to gain freedom from the horse is to kill the horse – psychologically. I believe it is possible. It’s just that I may have to overcome my dislike for pain and my need for comfort.
However, due to the fact that I am human and have the capacity for higher intelligence thought along with an inquisitive disposition, I CAN question my interpretations and motives.
And, even while serving the horse, I CAN enjoy the ride.