“…heightened defensiveness reflects insecurity, fragility and less-than-optimal functioning rather than a healthy psychological outlook,” said Michael Kernis, Professor of Psychology at the University of Georgia when describing those with fragile high self esteem. “We aren’t suggesting there’s something wrong with people when they want to feel good about themselves. What we are saying is that when feeling good about themselves becomes a prime directive, for these people excessive defensiveness and self-promotion are likely to follow, the self-esteem is likely to be fragile rather than secure and any psychological benefits will be very limited.”

Self esteem, it seems is a bit like cholesterol. It’s not as simple as too much cholesterol causes problems. There is “good cholesterol” and “bad cholesterol.” Further, too much “good” cholesterol can cause problems, too. So, too, with self esteem. There is “good” self esteem – called “healthy” self esteem; and there is “bad” self esteem – or “unhealthy” self esteem. Too much “healthy” self esteem can turn into unhealthy self esteem according to studies at UGA.

“There are many kinds of high self-esteem, and in this study we found that for those in which it is fragile and shallow it’s no better than having low self-esteem,” said Kernis. “People with fragile high self-esteem compensate for their self-doubts by engaging in exaggerated tendencies to defend, protect and enhance their feelings of self-worth.”

“Unhealthy” self esteem is defined as how one perceive him/herself in comparison to their judgment of the worth of others. Healthy self esteem is independent of that judgment – one feels confident and assured of him/herself regardless of any measurement against others. This does not mean that a person with healthy self esteem disregards the feelings and opinions of others. Quite the contrary – a person with a healthy level of healthy self esteem would care very much about the feelings of others – it’s just that such feelings would not detract from their inner sense of self worth and value or affect their sense of the worth of others.

Because of this separation of external and internal sense of worth, a person exhibiting a healthy and secure sense of self esteem tends to influence others to treat them as a person of greater worth than perhaps they merit by ability, education, achievement, or experience.