Tag Archives: adult relationships

Sex of Ideas

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Matt Ridley presents what I believe is a compelling argument for global connectedness, understanding, and cooperation. Especially as the global population of humanity grows, we no longer can afford the “luxury” of isolationism, war, and religious bigotry. At a level beyond, yet including the physical, sex makes great sense. Beyond pleasurable, it’s necessary. I really like Matt’s idea about the sex of ideas and how that specific sexual revolution has led humanity to where it is today – and will lead us into a hopefully brighter future. Yes, maybe it’s time for more sex!

The LGBTQ Bias

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Perhaps our definition of "normal" needs redefining.

Perhaps our definition of "normal" needs redefining.

I’m always on the lookout for thinking errors I may have previously overlooked. Here’s a dandy bias that affects a growing proportion of the world’s population. Marginalized and dehumanized, a significant segment of our population has endured censorship, hatred, bigotry, and worse at the hands of their heterosexual neighbors while contributing greatly to the overall sweetness and vitality of our human experience. Even research about them has been tainted by bias favoring heterosexual relationships as the “norm.”

“The underlying assumption of research on LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer) families has been premised on the idea that the children of gay and lesbian people will have unique challenges because of their parent’s sexual orientation. LGBTQ people have had to establish that they are good parents by raising children who are heterosexual and gender-normative, i.e., not like them.”

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Resilience – Evolutionary Advantage

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Although I sprayed them every year they'd just come back stronger. They had become resilient.

Although I sprayed them every year they’d just come back stronger. They had become resilient.

There is a spot in our backyard garden where the same weeds pop up every spring – and which I spray each spring. Over time, the spray seems to be lessening its effect on them and now, the weeds simply cannot be killed using those sprays I’ve used before – they have survived and learned to be resilient.

For years I’ve believed that victimhood is the key to therapeutic inaction and failure. Clients who believe they are the victim of abuse feel powerless and helpless against the intense feelings that boil within them. “I can’t help it – I was beaten as a child. It’s DADDY’S fault I’m fat!”

What if you were to look at yourself instead as a survivor imbued with a strength called resilience? Rather than feeling helpless and hopeless, might you feel more empowered? And what if you were to learn that by putting your strength to work for you, you might actually make your life work better? What if you considered resilience an evolutionary gift rather than a problem needing correction?

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Real Success

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In the words of Anna Qundlen, “…if your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all. Remember the words of Lily Tomlin: If you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.” Alain de Botton puts this all into perspective with wit and wisdom. 17 minutes of pure platinum. Enjoy!