Do you believe your life would be better – “if only…” or “when…?” If so, then you are in the clutches of a thinking error that could cost you your life.
The thinking error I’m addressing is the one that says, “I’ll be happy when…” or “I’ll be happier when…” or its corollary, “If only [I had some object, job, love interest, more money, whatever], then I’d be happy [or happier].” It’s a thinking error, the underlying theme of which is a lie – achieving some goal will not “make you happy” – only satisfy the object of a goal.
Consider the fact that ALL you perceive in your life right NOW, in this very instance in time, IS your life. You don’t have to achieve what you ALREADY ARE NOW, what you ALREADY DO NOW, and what you ALREADY HAVE NOW. They simply ARE as they are NOW. The degree to which you NOTICE what IS represents your level of gratitude, which in this context I define as the act of appreciating your life AS IT IS NOW.
Whew! 15 years of work! Although this is book #5 for me, it was the most difficult to write – because it’s about ME and MY thinking errors (don’t you just love self-disclosure?!). The publisher says that if you use the code MVY7M9SU they will knock off $3. That’s about 20%. Nice!
Some Common Thinking Errors and What to Do About Them
Authored by Joseph Bennette
A critical look into how our magnificent brains can help us make the most of our lives – and get us into deep trouble. Fortunately, thanks to our big brains we have the capability to solve our own thinking errors – once we know what those errors are. Explore some common thinking errors and what you can do to prevent or correct them. From the introduction:Continue reading →
And what to do about them. Based on the work of Aaron Beck and others, in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, David Burns outlines 10 common mistakes in thinking, which thinking errors he calls cognitive distortions.
ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING – Also called Black and White Thinking – Thinking of things in absolute terms, like “always”, “every” or “never”. For example, if your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure. Few aspects of human behavior are so absolute. Nothing is 100%. No one is all bad, or all good, we all have grades. To beat this cognitive distortion:
Ask yourself, “Has there ever been a time when it was NOT that way?” (all or nothing thinking does not allow exceptions so if even one exception can be found, it’s no longer “all” or “nothing”)
Ask yourself, “Never?” or “Always?” (depending upon what you are thinking)