Rigidity of thought – “I’m right!” thinking – tends to embitter one’s life and sour relationships.

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. “OK,” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!”

Did you notice how both of the Senator’s iterations meant the same thing? How many times have you confused yourself with negative affirmations? For example, how many times have you told yourself that you could not do something. Most of the time, such self-defeating affirmations are absolutely false. You aren’t telling yourself the truth.

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Perhaps there is hope for marriages where at least one partner is willing to exchange “I” for “we”.

UC Berkeley researchers analyzed conversations between 154 middle-aged and older couples about points of disagreement in their marriages and found that those who used pronouns such as “we,” “our” and “us” behaved more positively toward one another and showed less physiological stress. Couples who emphasized their “separateness” by using pronouns such as “I,” “me” and “you” were found to be less satisfied in their marriages. This was especially true for older couples.

“Individuality is a deeply ingrained value in American society, but, at least in the realm of marriage, being part of a ‘we’ is well worth giving up a bit of ‘me,’” said UC Berkeley psychology professor Robert Levenson, a co-author of the study published in the journal Psychology and Aging.

Previous studies have established that the use of “we-ness” or “separateness” language is a strong indicator of marital satisfaction in younger couples. These latest findings, however, take this several steps further by showing how powerful this correlation is in more established couples, linking it to the emotions and physiological responses that occur when spouses either team up or become polarized in the face of disagreements, researchers said.

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The space around our bodies is simply made for communication and perception.

Scientists Tamar R. Makin, Meytal Wilf, and Ehud Zohary from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem along with Isabella Schwartz from Hadassah Mount Scopus Hospital in Jerusalem wanted to investigate how hand amputations affect visuospatial perception in near space. Through a series of ingenious experiments, they discovered, “…that the possibility for action in near space shapes our perception – the space near our hands is really special, and our ability to move in that space affects how we perceive it.”

Another study, this time by researchers from Colgate University and Radboud University Nijmegen (The Netherlands) revealed something NLP practitioners have known for some time: that congruent action and verbiage communicates messages far better than when there is incongruent action or speech.

The space around our bodies is simply made for communication and perception. When we move our hands, especially, in this space we affect perception – our own and others’. Science is just now showing us that the intuition and understanding of many NLP practitioners and teachers has some validity in fact.

When you shake your head and answer yes, your perception as well as the perception of others you are attempting to communicate with will feel confused and your message will probably be missed or at least be misunderstood.

Sources:
Article “Two Sides of the Same Coin: Speech and Gesture Mutually Interact to Enhance Comprehension” Psychological Science.
Barbara Isanski – Association for Psychological Science

Two [neuronal] groups can only communicate efficiently with each other when their rhythms are coordinated, or synchronized.

Scientific American, one of my favorite mags, included an article on brain rhythm. It makes perfect sense to me that our inner communication system should rely upon specific rhythms – which may explain why we like music so much – especially music with a strong beat. Here are some outtakes with my comments:

In an attempt to understand what makes us tick, researchers have been probing various regions of the brain, such as the premotor cortex, which helps make movement possible, and the auditory cortex, responsible for processing what we hear. But neuroscientists now say communication between regions – as opposed to within the areas themselves – may be the key that has eluded analysis until now, in part, because of technological obstacles.

Earl Miller, a professor of neuroscience at Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Picower Institute for Learning and Memory, says that today’s faster computers and more advanced electronics may provide scientists with the tools they need to unlock the brain’s mysteries.

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Even with advanced degrees in physics and mathematics, iTunes and the iPod Touch did her in.

My mother recently sent me an iPod Touch that she could not figure out how to use. She is a very intelligent woman in her seventies with advanced degrees in physics and mathematics. But iTunes and the iPod Touch did her in. The instructions were so arcane and confusing she just gave up and sent the thing to me.

I’m no genius – just younger than she is – and able to figure the iPod Touch out after some time with the instruction manual and lots of trial and error (mostly error). And the iPod Touch is not the only thing I find confusing as I get older.

My telephone has become a subject of considerable confusion as it adds more and more “features” – when all I want to do is talk on it. Now my phone tells me where I am (here), keeps my calendar (so I won’t forget), shows me pictures of my family (the same pictures I keep in my wallet), takes lousy pictures and video (”is that a picture of me?”), does text messaging (numbers to letters – no kidding!!), and plays my music (isn’t that what the iPod is for?). It has so many features I forget sometimes how to place a simple phone call – and that’s why I have the damned thing in the first place! I’m so confused!! Is it my age? Am I just “getting older?”

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