Small gestures can go a long way toward creating a closer relationship.

You know that maintaining intimacy is important for your relationship with your partner. But did you know that it’s also good for your health?

Psychologists and researchers have discovered a number of benefits for people who experience intimacy in their committed relationships. In fact, closeness in relationships has been found to influence social, emotional, and physical health.

People in intimate relationships…

* Are better at successful navigating various developmental stages
* Are more likely to maintain solid, lasting friendships
* Are less likely to be in car accidents
* Are more resistant to diseases and mental illness

Read the rest of this entry »

Some years ago, my wife and I were invited to do a fire walk. We built a BIG fire – over 8 feet tall and 20 feet across we stacked the wood – then burned it down to a 15 foot round bed of hot coals. It was so hot in fact that we burned our faces from several feet back.

Sure it’s possible to walk on coals – lots of people have done it before and not gotten so much as an ouch of a burn. But I had not done it before – and even after the first person walked across – and even though we knew scientifically and spiritually that it was possible – the HEAT and FIRE coupled with our own past experiences with fire – I had been burned badly on my feet in a fire in the garage in our old house – confronted us with the real possibility of serious injury.

FIRE BURNS FLESH!!! My body knows it – which is why I don’t put my hand on the hot stove on purpose. My body knows about heat and knows how to react to it – mostly by AVOIDING IT.

I don’t care how much you believe you can do it – when you stand at the precipice and your face and arms are burning from the heat – you are face to face with one of the greatest inbred fears of animal-kind – the fear of fire – ala Frankenstein’s monster. All animals are afraid of fire – including humans. Fire is TERRIFYING.

What would it take to make me step from the cool grass onto the superheated hot coals?

Read the rest of this entry »

In the course of evolution, people with certain genes fared better than others – and because they survived, they passed on their genes, making the general population more like them. For example, Europeans who came into contact with and yet survived the great plague did so because they had a genetic advantage over their neighbors. Because more of them survived to pass on their genes, their descendants tend to show that same genetic factor.

Unfortunately, a genetic advantage in one era or age (like the Ice Age) may be a killer in another (like now). More body fat in an Ice Age man made him more likely to pass on his genes; whereas today it could prevent him from doing so.

What genetic factors are a problem in your life? Do you have a predisposition for certain diseases or conditions (physically and psychologically)? How can you know which conditions or diseases are genetically affecting you? How can you make a change that has a higher probability of success on a genetic level – if it is possible at all?

There is a fundamental interaction between genetics and how our brains process the genetic information. We create and maintain brain circuitry based on a genetic blueprint modified by experience/learning (environmental factors). It's a delicate balance between nature and nurture. Neither genetics nor conditioning completely rule our life experience – rather, we experience the result of an interweaving between the two – kind of like the weaving of DNA.

Read the rest of this entry »

I just had to share this wonderful parable. It caught me at that “just right” time to help me appreciate it. I’ve never really looked at insults as gifts, but what would happen to me if I did? And what would happen to you if you did?

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior’s challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.

Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. “How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?”

“If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it,” the master replied, “to whom does the gift belong?”

Anonymous

How to set goals? First of all, don’t confuse wishes or desires with goals. Often, people want things, situations or accomplishments, and call these goals. Then they’re disappointed when they don’t get them. Just naming your desires isn’t effective goal setting. Good goals have some or all of the following:

1. Good goals are specific. A goal like, “I want to be healthy” is too general. “I want to lose weight and walk three times a week,” is better.

2. They’re realistic. Unfortunately, even if it is possible that you could become an astronaut, if you’re already 55, you better try to become a pilot for now. Unrealistic goals set you up for failure.

3. They’re written down. Writing down your goals is a way to make them more real, and this influences your subconscious mind, especially if you review the goals regularly.

4. They’re measurable. Exactly how many pounds do you want to lose? How much money do you want to make? How will you know if your relationship is better?

Read the rest of this entry »