When I smile approvingly at myself in the mirror, I signal to my body a social approval closer to me than any other society.

A study by Carolien Martijn and Marlies Vanderlinden from Maastricht University investigated whether body satisfaction can increase when women learn to associate their appearance with social approval. “The positive effect we witnessed for women with a high level of body concern supports the idea that body satisfaction may be linked to the idea of social approval. Simply showing these women photographs of themselves followed by a smiling face – signalling social approval – increased their body satisfaction and self esteem significantly,” Carolien Martijn said.

It occurs to me that the first “society” we face every day is our own – me, myself, and I. When I smile at myself in the mirror, I signal to my body a social approval closer to me than any other society.

Here’s a quick and easy imagery you can do to improve your self-esteem and perhaps your physical health.

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Look into the mirror and say, “Oh, wow! You are so amazing!”

Everybody deserves to have at least one person in their life who is totally, completely, wonderfully in love with them. Someone who realizes how magnificently awesome they are…. Someone who understands their unique beauty and one-of-a-kind personality….Yes, someone whose heart thrills at the sight of them and whose eyes light up and say “OH. WOW! YOU ARE SO AMAZING!”

I call it, understandably, the “OH WOW attitude.” Babies need to have this attitude expressed to them many, many times in order for them to pick up the message that they are wonderful, worthwhile human beings. With repetition, they will begin to make it a part of themselves.

How does this apply to me as an adult?

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The job of the millions is to protect and usher “the one.”

Several studies suggest that the sperm destined to impregnate is predetermined and ushered to the egg by the other sperm. It’s not, as was once supposed, a race to the egg and the first one there gets the prize. Not at all. It is a race – a race against time – the sperm die in a short period of time (like hours) – so they have to race – no time to waste – because if the “chosen one” dies or is seriously injured in transit, the whole thing can fall apart – no conception.

The one sperm destined to impregnate is most likely not the first to arrive. Rather, in one video I saw of the event, on Discovery Channel, the impregnating sperm was “ushered” to the egg by other sperm – then “introduced” and invited into the egg using special chemical “markers” – rather than attacking the egg (like rape). Even if the “special” sperm is injured or defective in some way it is still “the one.”

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“…heightened defensiveness reflects insecurity, fragility and less-than-optimal functioning rather than a healthy psychological outlook,” said Michael Kernis, Professor of Psychology at the University of Georgia when describing those with fragile high self esteem. “We aren’t suggesting there’s something wrong with people when they want to feel good about themselves. What we are saying is that when feeling good about themselves becomes a prime directive, for these people excessive defensiveness and self-promotion are likely to follow, the self-esteem is likely to be fragile rather than secure and any psychological benefits will be very limited.”

Self esteem, it seems is a bit like cholesterol. It’s not as simple as too much cholesterol causes problems. There is “good cholesterol” and “bad cholesterol.” Further, too much “good” cholesterol can cause problems, too. So, too, with self esteem. There is “good” self esteem – called “healthy” self esteem; and there is “bad” self esteem – or “unhealthy” self esteem. Too much “healthy” self esteem can turn into unhealthy self esteem according to studies at UGA. Read the rest of this entry »

Girls who talk very extensively about their problems with friends are likely to become more anxious and depressed.

A researcher at the University of Missouri-Columbia has found that girls who talk very extensively about their problems with friends are likely to become more anxious and depressed.

The research was conducted by Amanda Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the College of Arts and Science. The six-month study, which included boys and girls, examined the effects of co-rumination – excessively talking with friends about problems and concerns. Rose discovered that girls co-ruminate more than boys, especially in adolescence, and that girls who co-ruminated the most in the fall of the school year were most likely to be more depressed and anxious by the spring.

“When girls co-ruminate, they’re spending such a high percentage of their time dwelling on problems and concerns that it probably makes them feel sad and more hopeless about the problems because those problems are in the forefront of their minds. Those are symptoms of depression,” Rose said. “In terms of anxiety, co-ruminating likely makes them feel more worried about the problems, including about their consequences. Co-rumination also may lead to depression and anxiety because it takes so much time – time that could be used to engage in other, more positive activities that could help distract youth from their problems. This is especially true for problems that girls can’t control, such as whether a particular boy likes them, or whether they get invited to a party that all of the popular kids are attending.”

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