Imagine that someone behaves towards you in a way that you don’t like. You have a variety of approaches regarding how you respond.

One set of approaches deals with your own area of responsibility. You might ask yourself, “What is it about me that has allowed/permitted/drawn certain people to behave towards me in this way?”

The answers to this question may reveal one of two kinds of answers. The first is the opening of opportunity. Looking like a victim often attracts predators of some description.

Another answer or approach is more metaphysical. For example, say that someone is being very stubborn and not accepting your point. Some metaphysical schools of thought would have you examine yourself, to see if you do this kind of thing to others. Are you sometimes stubborn about some things? Do you sometimes refuse to see the points of some others?

A third approach is to look at the other person. Is this a typical pattern of behavior for them? Do they do this kind of thing often, with you and/or with other people? If this is the case, then you can take steps to remedy the situation.

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My mother and I often engage in small talk – but it’s code for “I love you.”

Researchers investigated the difference between happy and unhappy people in the types of conversations they tend to have. Their conclusion – happy people tend to have more substantive conversations and less small talk than do unhappy people. In fact, the study showed the happiest participants had twice as many substantive conversations and one third as much small talk as the unhappiest participants.

“Just as self-disclosure can instill a sense of intimacy in a relationship, deep conversations may instill a sense of meaning in the interaction between partners,” say the researchers.

It’s okay to talk about the weather or basketball scores, but why do you talk about such things? Are you nervous or anxious or concerned about the person with whom you’re having a conversation? Then why not just come out with it instead? Well, for many of us, just “coming out with it” is uncomfortable and sometimes opens windows or doors into worlds of hurt and shame. So we “code” our conversations so as not to directly shake the tree, so to speak.

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Small gestures can go a long way toward creating a closer relationship.

You know that maintaining intimacy is important for your relationship with your partner. But did you know that it’s also good for your health?

Psychologists and researchers have discovered a number of benefits for people who experience intimacy in their committed relationships. In fact, closeness in relationships has been found to influence social, emotional, and physical health.

People in intimate relationships…

* Are better at successful navigating various developmental stages
* Are more likely to maintain solid, lasting friendships
* Are less likely to be in car accidents
* Are more resistant to diseases and mental illness

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Children learn the solution to a problem best when they explain it to their mom.

New research from Vanderbilt University reveals that children learn the solution to a problem best when they explain it to their mom. “We knew that children learn well with their moms or with a peer, but we did not know if that was because they were getting feedback and help,” Bethany Rittle-Johnson, the study’s lead author and assistant professor of psychology at Vanderbilt’s Peabody College of education and human development, said. “In this study, we just had the children’s mothers listen, without providing any assistance. We’ve found that by simply listening, a mother helps her child learn.”

Rittle-Johnson believes the new finding can help parents better assist their children with their schoolwork, even when they are not sure of the answer themselves. Although the researchers used children and their mothers in the study, they believe the same results will hold true whether the person is the child’s father, grandparent, or other familiar person.

“The basic idea is that it is really effective to try to get kids to explain things themselves instead of just telling them the answer,” she said. “Explaining their reasoning, to a parent or perhaps to other people they know, will help them understand the problem and apply what they have learned to other situations.”

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Just considering thoughts of a higher being or God can foster altruism and generosity.

I’m not a believer in one or more Gods, but I do find it interesting that just considering thoughts of a higher being or God can foster altruism and generosity – especially in a world where religion has been at the root of horrible wars and atrocious behaviors.

For many years, Rapid Eye Technology has encouraged clients and students to consider a higher power when dealing with stressful thoughts and emotions. Apparently, a recent study confirms the usefulness of that concept.

I figure that what you believe is your business – and ask that you not impose your beliefs on me or others. I think that an exemplary life is the best missionary tool for your belief system. Happiness tends to breed happiness. If a belief or belief system – religion – will cultivate that sense of happiness and peace, then I’m all for it.

I also believe that altruism and generosity are not exclusively the property of believers in God or a higher power. Learning to love and appreciate people as worthy of respect also tends to foster altruism and gratitude.

Whatever does the trick, I say… Read on for details of the study…

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