Can I throw away my many years of training and experience? No – it is part of who I am.

Can being nonjudgmental harm me or my client or someone else? Of course it can, in certain situations and environments.

There are bounds to tolerance. Unconsciously and instinctively I KNOW it is wrong to have sex with a child, for example. To help a pedophile get better at his trade would be unconscionable to me. I CANNOT offer such behavior safe haven in my sessions. On the other hand, if a pedophile wishes to overcome his harmful behavior, I am willing to assist. That is because I have a judgment about that behavior and the erroneous thought processes that produced it. I cannot be nonjudgmental in this case.

I have a list of behaviors I judge incompatible with health and wellness – for the individual and for society in general.
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I like the idea of saying to myself (maybe as a mantra), “I am experiencing EXACTLY what I WANT to experience right now or I’d be experiencing something else. I am doing exactly what I most want to do right now or I’d be doing something else. I have exactly what I want to have right now or I’d have something else.” (BE-DO-HAVE) I believe that when you adopt this as a personal truth, you tend to take responsibility for your life and magical things start to happen. For one, when YOU are the responsible party, YOU have the power to make changes – NOT because you don’t like what you have; rather, because you LOVE what you have and want to experience something ELSE you love.

If you want to make a substantial change in your life, consider taking responsibility for your life – acknowledge that you are, do, and have what you currently experience because you WANT TO. How you feel about what you experience is your PAYOFF. Embrace your payoff – you love it, after all – and you’ve gone to some effort and energy to achieve it. Then look into what OTHER PAYOFF you might enjoy JUST AS MUCH and begin embracing that instead. You might also enjoy achieving your current payoff in a different manner. Like the kid in the sandbox making a sand castle, you can play with your design as much as you wish until you get it “just right” – that is, you experience sufficient sensational payoff.

The beginning of gratitude is acceptance of what is. Fortunately, this is the easy part of manifestation – you already accept what is in your world – and act accordingly. That is why you have what you currently have in your world and why it is that things are the way they are. You accept it that way and act accordingly.

For example, you accept that trees are green and rain is wet. You do not question nature as it is – you simply accept it. EVERYTHING in your life is as it is because you accept it that way – and act accordingly. When was the last time you questioned something in your life that you take for granted – like air. Over time, you have come to simply accept things as they are – for the most part, you take your life for granted.

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It’s perfectly normal for humans to have mood swings.

Feeling a bit low or blue during the winter months? Or maybe just feeling a little depressed now and then? Well don’t despair or feel anxious over it – adding to the feeling. It’s perfectly normal for humans to have mood swings – and to have negative moods that can last for days or even weeks.

The slightest shift in the balance between serotonin and melatonin, adrenalin and noradrenalin, and other chemicals in the body can affect our moods – and it is NORMAL for us to do so and feel that way when we do.

According to University of East London psychologist Professor Mark Rapley, “Bottling up anger and sadness is never a good way of dealing with things; problems tend to come back and bite us harder further down the line. The trouble is, we’ve become so obsessed with being happy that we now see being down as a real problem – when, in fact, it’s perfectly normal.

“We’re constantly encouraged to be anxious about whether we are happy or depressed, yet these feelings are not illnesses, simply part of regular human experience. Life would be so much duller if we just muddled along in the middle without feeling any emotions at all. Learning to recognize that it’s normal to feel angry or sad is a good thing for our mental health.”

Balance is boring!

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“Ah ha!” can sometimes lead us down the path of rightness – along with its associated narrowing of choices.

Have you ever suddenly “got it” and said to yourself, “Ah ha!”? Maybe you felt you suddenly came to some realization that would solve your current or life problems. Many new therapists believe that if a client comes to a “realization” or “ah ha” then all is well and the client will come away from the session with resolution. This presupposes the insanely incorrect misconception that if we just know enough about our problem we can solve it and that resolution means solution.

“Ah ha’s” are fine and often make you feel you are progressing toward your goals. And sometimes that feeling is right on and correct. However, just as often or more, the “ah ha!” is merely the mind’s way of keeping you stuck or in the status quo – no progress toward substantial change.

When I was doing Rapid Eye trainings I’d often see students light up with “ah ha! I get it now!” and then return to doing exactly what they were doing before my feedback/correction. Their mind formed an image or “lock-on” – and with the lock-on they would lock out whatever else seemed different from their image. It’s called a scotoma and it feels very good – releasing endorphins in the brain. It is NOT resolution, though it often feels like it.

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