It is improper and imprudent to simply throw away judgment for the sake of being perceived as "nonjudgmental."

Can I throw away my many years of training and experience? No – it is part of who I am.

Can being nonjudgmental harm me or my client or someone else? Of course it can, in certain situations and environments.

There are bounds to tolerance. Unconsciously and instinctively I KNOW it is wrong to have sex with a child, for example. To help a pedophile get better at his trade would be unconscionable to me. I CANNOT offer such behavior safe haven in my sessions. On the other hand, if a pedophile wishes to overcome his harmful behavior, I am willing to assist. That is because I have a judgment about that behavior and the erroneous thought processes that produced it. I cannot be nonjudgmental in this case.

I have a list of behaviors I judge incompatible with health and wellness – for the individual and for society in general.

Behaviors indicate an underlying fundamental thinking error. That fundamental thinking error could be based on an underlying erroneous belief or it could be an erroneously applied interpretation of a correct belief. Either way, behavior is the avenue through which such thinking processes manifest in the physical. My job as a clinician is to assist my client in identifying and correcting these fundamental thinking errors.

What I’m saying is that it is improper and imprudent to simply throw away judgment for the sake of being perceived as “nonjudgmental.” Judging behaviors and thought processes is intelligent use of your mental resources – you do it naturally. And like changing clothes, the person exhibiting the behaviors is able to change behaviors and correcting thinking errors. As the clinician, it is my responsibility to assist my clients in identifying and correcting their errors in thinking – which means identifying and correcting my own first. As I correct my own thinking errors, I naturally become better at identifying and correcting the thinking errors of others. Judgment then becomes a useful vehicle for change.

When judging a person’s behavior/thoughts, I ask some questions:
“What thinking error is required to produce this aberrant behavior in a person?”
“What life decisions might a person have to have made in order to exhibit this set of behaviors?”
“In what ways does this set of behaviors harm the person exhibiting them or harm those within their scope of influence?”
“What therapeutic resources do I have that will assist this person in overcoming these harmful behaviors or erroneous thinking processes?”
“What clinician is best qualified to assist this person?” (if not me, who?)
…and etc.

I always judge my potential clients. During our initial visit or phone consultation, I judge whether or not I will take them on as a client. I immediately screen out people I don’t like – hey, I’m human and have feelings – if someone rubs me the wrong way, I realize my negative sense about them will interfere with what I will do with them therapeutically. I screen out those with behaviors and erroneous thought processes I know don’t respond well to my resources or who may need resources outside my scope of practice. These are ALL judgments – I acknowledge that I am far from nonjudgmental.

Using judgment constructively is a goal worthy of pursuit, I believe. And non-judgment is a myth.