Trauma affects people in different ways.

A University at Buffalo study, published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, compared the progress of 3,000 people who took different approaches over two years following the 9/11 attacks. It found people initially unwilling to talk were less likely to be adversely affected by the trauma two years later.

“We should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma. In fact, they can cope quite successfully and, according to our results, are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings,” said Dr Mark Seery, University at Buffalo. The popular belief is that talking out your feelings is the best thing to do after a trauma experience. This study suggests that for many this may not be the best approach.

Stephen Joseph counters, “Those people who wanted to express their feelings immediately after 9/11 may have been those who were most deeply affected by it, so it is not entirely unsurprising that they may still have symptoms two years later.”

The study and the discussion about it suggest to me that those who WANT to express themselves are best served by talking it out while those who prefer NOT to express themselves may be okay even though they don’t express themselves. The problem, as I see it is when those who WANT TO express themselves find no avenue for that expression – no listening ear. Also, there are bound to be some who desperately NEED to express their pent up feelings but by conditioning or social pressure – for example soldiers or first responders who fear peer repercussions or social stigma – do not.

In my opinion, we as a society must turn “therapy” from being some kind of “assistance” or “cure” from “dis-ease” to something natural and normal – like exercise or job improvement courses. And we must stop thinking of those who seek out counseling or therapy as somehow defective – rather, it is they who should be looked upon as the “smart ones” or at least as those who are wisely utilizing their resources.